you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
