Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
