3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
