i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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