wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
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Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize