I don't think brook has ever known best
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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