WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
