video games are the ultimate cock blocker
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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