At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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