dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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