It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize