What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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