i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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