**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
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