Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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