We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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