U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I need to align my fucking chakras
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
