How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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