Betty ford says i'm here all night
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
