Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
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I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
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So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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