I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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