I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
