I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
