she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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