that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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