Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize