She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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