I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
