i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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