Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
