So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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