apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i came on her dog
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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