This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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