watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
