I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
