Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize