i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
