I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
