Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
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How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
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I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor