If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again