I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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