Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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