We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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