everyone is single if you try hard enough
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
