maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
