well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he shaved USA in his pubs
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
