Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
