But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
