Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
