This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
