alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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