dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
