Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just invented taco cereal.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
