Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
