All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
