I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize