Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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