She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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