idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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