im about as happy as oj after his trial
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
