So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
