How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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