i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize