So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
