you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
