Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
